I really do feel like time has flown by though. I remember commenting how quickly our first year of marriage flew by. It wasn't the best year. (I had HUGE issues comparing WHO I was to WHAT I thought a 'wife' was supposed to be. Doing that to yourself will make you a loser every time.) On the plus side, Fielding and I still liked each other and thought one year flying by was far better than it feeling like an eternity (like the day that never ends).
I also don't know if it's the time of year (not Valentines Day, but close to Serenity's 1 year birthday), but I feel like I'm a sappy wreck. I keep thinking about how different my life has turned out than I probably would have ever thought it would.
(Wow, I keep wanting to type 'I don't know'. I don't think I've ever thought I know everything...)
Anyhow, I grew up in a house with five sisters -one older and all the rest younger, and two brothers -one older and one younger. You'd think with that many sisters I'd automatically end up being girly. I think that even for a while I was. I LOVED Ballet, makeup, and Barbie. Pretty girly if you ask me.
That didn't last though. I remember by the age of three I wanted to play outside with my brother and his friends. In fact, I rarely had more than one friend that was a girl at a time and every single one of them was a quintessential girl -at least to me. They were all pretty, loved dressing up, and had the fluffiest dresses I could ever imagine. (Yes, I REALLY wanted a fluffy clogging slip with all the ruffles.) Instead of turning out to be a girly-girl, I became a tough tomboy. I hung out with the boys. Played the games they played, fought harder than most of them, and straight out seemed to intimidate any number of them. Suffice it to say, I was not polished and I was not someone they were going to date. (Not that I was ever interested in dating any of them anyhow.)
Oy! If I'm not careful this is going to become a novel no one really wants to read.
Anyhow, by the time I'd gone to college I somehow had decided that people would like me for who I was or they wouldn't. I made some great friends, in addition to some I already had from before. (Yup, pretty much all of them were guys.) And yes, I got lucky enough to become friends with a really great looking guy. (Yeah, I thought Fielding was good looking from day one.) I'm sure you can figure the story out from there.
Anyhow, it still amazes me that we're together. Not because we don't like each other, but because neither of us was really ever interested in 'finding' someone. Let alone finding ourselves with each other. I'm not demure. I will say what's on my mind -sometimes FAR too bluntly than necessary. I'm feisty and have a guys sense of humor. (Again don't know how that happened in a house full of girls.) I have VERY strong opinions about things, but things do not have to be my way (or at least that's how I feel). I'm odd. Very, very odd. Fielding loves me anyway. He sees those things and appreciates them. (Sometimes in small doses). He loves me for who I am. Not just the things other people see, but who I am. The person no one else knows because he has been there for me regardless of the moment. He loved me in oversized tshirts and gym shorts and fancy dresses. He loved me when I'm being mooky or laughing hysterically. He loves me when we're just talking or making out. He loves me because I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be. But the best part is that I know he'll love me yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
And I love him.
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| Bountiful Temple February 5, 2005 |
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| Wadley Farms October 6, 2012 |
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