Shapely Shapes

This was the hardest part of the overall pregnancy for me. I mean I've never been super skinny, but I've never been stressed about my physical appearance either. (Don't ask me how I made it through high school without that complex, but I did.) I do like my clothes though and am pretty picky about the style of clothing I wear.

Unfortunately, that style isn't really conducive to being pregnant. I like tailored clothing and had invested a decent amount of money (at least to me) in my clothes. I was lucky that most of my clothes fit until I was about five or six months along. That didn't mean they were going to fit forever though.

I looked at Target a couple of different times, but just couldn't bring myself to pay the price they wanted for a SINGLE pair of pregnancy pants. My sisters and some of my friends lent me some maternity clothes in the meantime. Some of them worked. Some of them didn't. That didn't stop me from getting depressed and irritated that I couldn't seem to find any clothes that didn't make me feel like I was wearing a circus tent.

By the end of five or six months, the clothes that kind of fit didn't fit and I was starting to get really upset. I wanted to feel as good inside as I did when I wore my OTHER clothes. I gave up though and started to embrace some spandex. Yes, leggings. I didn't feel very professional in them, but they did seem to work in the meantime.

Fielding was nice enough to put up with me and my constant desire to find some clothes. He was also nice enough to buy me them when I found ones I FINALLY liked. I found 3 pairs of work pants (that looked tailored) and some dress/tunic tops that I could pair with them. Between my new clothes and the ones others lent to me, I'm hoping to make it through the end of the pregnancy.

And yes, while I still have those days where I feel like a 'Hefty Hippo' or 'cow'. (Yes, I've used those terms.) Fielding is sure to point out to me that I'm none of those things. I'm pregnant and I look gorgeous. (See, I knew I married a smart and loving man.) I've also figured out a way to feel pregnant and stylish in the clothes I got. I don't care what shape I am. I just want to be happy with myself and how I look.

I'm pregnant?

So immediately after the pregnancy test was positive (and I'd taken a second one just to be sure three days later), I called the doctor's office to set up an appointment.

Originally I had to argue with the receptionist and nurse manager to switch my doctor from one to another. Apparently they had a policy against switching patient's doctors within the same practice. This made me cranky because if I had known that I would have figured out a way to see the doctor I wanted in the first place. Oy! I do have to say that my original doctor was great, but didn't seem to have the approach I needed to my fear of needles. (Yes, it seriously does give me anxiety. I start to feel a tightness in my chest and cry at the mention of having to get a shot, blood draw, or anything else that might include needles.) My doctors were nice enough to sign off on the switch. (Thank goodness.) So I set my appointment for the earliest date...over a month out.

Yeah, it took over a month to get in to see the doctor and you pretty much countdown every second, every day, every week. And please don't take this wrong, but it seemed...worse for me. I know statistically speaking there are very few women who don't have symptoms of pregnancy. I am one of those people (at least for this pregnancy). No nausea, no feeling light headed, no cravings, no running to the restroom more frequently than normal. (See, I told you I'm not normal.) Most people would envy this, but when you're sitting around counting down waiting for an educated confirmation it can be maddening. (Yes, I questioned the authority of the stupid digital readout and the two lines. I mean honestly, how smart can they be right?)

About So about a month and a half later I went in to see the doctor for the first time. You fill out all the new patient paperwork, the insurance information , and finally get checked in by the nurse. You go into a room with a ultra sound machine and wait. You wonder what is taking the doctor so long. You wonder how everything is going to go. If the baby is real, healthy, or how you're going to react. You wonder how your spouse is going to react. (And yes, you're hoping and praying that things work out in a way that will work for you whether it's one or more.)

Finally, the doctor shows up and asks you how things are going. And since it's me, I answer all the questions, don't really know what to expect, and don't really have any other questions. I figured the doctor would do all the talking and explaining if it was necessary. (And yes, you're still freaking out the whole time wondering how it's all going to go.) Finally, he asks you if you're ready to see your baby and part of you is like 'yes, I've been waiting over a month to know for sure'. The other part of you is like 'no, I'm liking staying in the dark because I don't have to freak out quite yet'. The next thing you know there's a blob on the screen and all you can think (or say out loud to the doctor who just met you for the first time is) 'Holy shit!' Yeah, that is pretty much what blurted out of my mouth. That's not including the tears that start streaming from your eyes because it's real. In that moment you start to realize you really are pregnant. You're pregnant with a tiny human that looks an awful lot like all of the pictures you see of babies. (And yes, at the same time they still look like inkblot pictures too.)

After that, it's pretty anticlimactic. All of my sisters had limited pregnancy issues and I'm not one to stress about it. I figure that regardless of what I do or how I feel things are going to be however they're going to be. So I didn't have any questions for the doctor.

Oh wait. I'd accidentally told Fielding about how pregnant women should avoid lunch meat. He hadn't let me eat a real sandwich in over a month. I WANTED A FREAKING SANDWICH. Not due to any kind of pregnancy craving, but because I LOVE sandwiches. (Honestly, I think I'd eat a sandwich daily.) THAT was the only immediate concern I had. My doctor said it was okay and that was pretty much my next stop.

So I guess at the end of the day I didn't feel pregnant, but I was. Doctor confirmed and everything. Now all I had to do was hold out until at least the end of the first trimester. That was one thing I was paranoid about. I didn't want to put it out there only to have something...happen. All I had to do now was make it another month or two.

It's All in the Telling

hmmm....part of me isn't sure what to write, post, or even the order in which to approach this all. I guess I'll start with a warning. (Isn't that how all instructional writings or infomercials start?)

**I am NOT a normal girl and I am NOT a normal pregnant girl either. I have not spent my life dreaming about what it would be like to be a mother, to have children, or even really to be married. I absolutely DETEST the color pink. (Mauve surprisingly doesn't count.) And while I like frilly things because they look pretty that only lasts about 15 minutes before I'd trade it all in to be comfortable. So if you're reading this, please remember that I am not a normal girl and I don't see pregnancy the same way most people do. If you take offense please realize that that is becuase YOU are different from me (which is perfectly alright too).

I've always said that I would NEVER have (give birth) to a kid/baby since I can remember. I figured I'd grow up, go to college, get a degree and then go on to law school. If things worked out (which I doubted), I'd get married about 25 and adopt kids after I was 30 since being married at least 5 years ensured the best outcome for marriage (at least that's what some article I once read said).

Things didn't work out quite that way though. I went to Weber for a couple of years and then moved back home to attend SLCC where I met Fielding. I conviced him to FINALLY talk to me in our TaeKwondo class and to take KungFu the next semester. We started hanging out with my KungFu friends, then started dating, then decided to get married. (Sorry, I feel like it has to be a bit rushed or I won't get the story written before the kid gets here.)

And yes, I genuinely mean we decided to get married. (Again please note that I'm not the norm.) There was no super precious proposal on bended knee, no fancy dinner, or big family surprise. That's just not really either of our styles. We just talked about it. And while our proposal will never be the thing of legends or fairy tales, it's still precious to me. (Fielding told me that I wasn't the kind of girl he had ever imagined marrying, but that I was exactly what what he wanted. See...precious.)

Fielding and I were married for about 2.5 years before he was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It was Hell. Fielding and I both began to withdraw from one another and from our relationship. We couldn't seem to communicate without getting frustrated or angry. Every day was pretty freaking miserable and I kept telling him that neither of us should be this miserable for the rest of our lives. If it couldn't get better than we should just get a divorce. (Divorce is ALWAYS an option and sometimes is the best option. Marriage is another option, but it requires understanding and sacrifice ALWAYS.) Fielding and I stayed in that...limbo for about another 2 years before he decided it wouldn't get better and that that wasn't fair to either of us. He asked me for a divorce and moved out.

Now, in a number of marriages (especially Utah), Fielding and I would have had a child or two already by this point in our lives. And honestly, I'm grateful every day that we didn't. Fielding and I know that if we had had any kids we would not still be together. Timing is everything and it's up to each person to determine when they're ready to pursue adding kids to the mix.

Fielding and I talked about three days after he moved out to figure out what we really wanted to do. Surprisingly, we both had made a list of things we wanted to change in our relationship. I also attended some of his counseling sessions to help make sure I knew where he was and he knew how I was feeling. And yes, surprisingly we made it through. It wasn't the greatest experience we've ever had. We wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but it definitely helped make our relationship better.

Unfortunately, life was moving forward for us and I was getting...feelings about having kids. (I'm not one who really believes in a 'biological clock' and part of me still thinks it's due to others I know with kids.) I kept getting the feeling that it was time to have kids. Biological kids in the next 2 to 3 years or adopting within the next 5 years. And while some discussions take only minutes to decide, Fielding and I discussed this a number of times before we were okay with it. Fielding refused to have a 'winter baby' (November to January, I think) because he doesn't like the cold. And to give us some time and just becuase I thought it would be funny, I told him we should try to have a Leap Year Baby. (My sister and I use to tell people we were twins who were born on Leap Day visiting from Canada.) So yeah, we moved on with our plans (even though I was also looking for a new job.)

Everyone told me you can't really 'plan' when you'll get pregnant, but I refused to listen anyhow. I figured it would either work or it wouldn't. (I mean how else would it work.) It was really odd to me that we were 'trying' and I figured it wasn't really that big of a deal, but when it didn't work it was...upsetting. I was upset and frustrated that two seemingly healthy people couldn't get pregnant. (Yes, I realize there are others who are devastated things haven't worked out and for that reason my issues are a lot more trivial.) I figured that it just wasn't meant to be right now and maybe one of those reasons was my job.

My job was getting more...stressful for me. (Which stress apparently plays NO part whatsoever on fertility according to a recent article I read.) I dreaded going to work pretty much daily and was hoping to find something new sooner rather than later. Fielding and I discussed this too and decided that we'd put things on hold until I got a new job and FMLA benefits would be applicable (12 monthes after being hired). I got a job offer on Friday, 17 June and had already accepted that this month wouldn't be the month either.

Part of my hiring requirements required me to have or get current immunizations and pass a drug screening test. (I seriously am afraid of needles and/or shots.) I took my drug test on Friday, but was able to postpone the immunizations because I was sick. No prego symtoms, just sick.

That Sunday (oddly enough, Father's Day) I took what I thought would be my final pregnancy test, at least until we decided to try again. Next thing I know I'm literally tilting my head to the side because the digital display isn't working right. The 'not' part of the display isn't showing up. It's got to be wrong because I don't feel pregnant. Secondly, I don't even know what I thought at that very second about being pregnant except that I'm not supposed to be. Fielding and I had decided to put things on hold for a while. What am I suppose to do now?

Well, I couldn't very well lie to Fielding. (He would have figured it out once I started getting fat. Outside of the fact that that would also be really sad and wrong.) So I went out and told him. And just like his proposal, it was pretty blunt and to the point. It says I'm pregnant. I think he looked at me for a couple of seconds before saying 'High five?'. So yeah, I cried and gave him a hug and said how do you honestly feel about it? (I mean honestly who asks for a high five from their wife when she tell you she's pregnant? Fielding. That's who.) He said he was excited and scared all at once. (Yeah, you can repeat that one again.)

Day 28

Ha! I failed by about a week, but I'll still finish it out.

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?hmmm...I think everyone changes. They just aren't always aware of how they're changing, whether good or bad. There are really visible changes. A change in our family and a change in jobs. But there's also changes that have happened in myself. Fielding and I focus more on making sure that WE'RE happy instead of focusing on what makes us unhappy. I've learned that friendships like all relationships are dependent upon you and how you treat the other person. You learn patience, understanding, and sometimes you learn to recognize that there will ALWAYS be differences in each relationship.

day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
Ha! Over the last month I've learned that it doesn't seem to matter how much you may want to separate yourself from emotions they will always have a hold on you. It is part of what makes us human. (Yes, overall I keep trying to ignore this, but it keeps biting me in the butt.) We've got our own opinions on what we think people should do, whether because we think it's right or because we care. Their opinions matter to us. What they say (or rather HOW they say it) can hurt us more than hearing it from someone else. And yes, we start trying to decipher the why and what they could have meant. It's maddening. I guess that is the part I'm still trying to learn. What to do with the emotions and how much weight I choose to give them.

day 30- your favorite song

Come Thou Fount -Amazing song that gets me every time.
Outside of that, I think I'd pick Disney songs every day. They make me happy.

day 31- the best thing about being you
I love that I still believe in having fun and ridiculous. I think you're supposed to grow up, but that doesn't mean you should forget the joy you had as a child. What is fun to you? What makes you laugh, giggle, or lifts your spirit? THOSE are the things you should do and the BEST part about me.

Day 18

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
Plans:Survive the holidays without stressing more than called for.
hmmm...not freak out when I have this kid. (More on that one in a different post though.)
Actually have stuff put together for when the kid gets here. (Yeah, I think a lot about this one.)

Goals:

Graduate with my Bachelors. Yeah, I've been working on it for a while. Will be working on it for a while, and will get it done. Dang it!

Be happy and preferably not ever really stress over monies. I don't need a lot. Just enough, and yes, that number does exist.

Dreams:

One day I'd like to travel to some exotic places. (Preferably where they speak English or I've got my own interpreter.) I'd like to visit the British Isles, Philippines, and a fabulous warm beach on an island. (Just make sure I rotate every 30 minutes until golden brown.)

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
Jenny -What my family calls me.

Jen -What Fielding calls me.
JRoe -What friend Shaun called me.
JDawg -What Lyn called me.
That's pretty much it. Oh, and Motermouth because I talked SO much and SO fast.

day 20- someone you love

I love Fielding. I once didn't really believe in love, but after dealing with all of our issues (thus far) it's just nice being around him. We talk more with each other and love simply sitting down spending time together. And (I'd like to hope) we do more for each other. Simple things like making a sandwich, cooking me bacon (the sizzling oil scares me), massages, or cleaning up. Yeah, neither of us HAVE to be grateful for any of those simple tasks, but I LOVE that we care enough about each other to be grateful for them.

Oh, and Fielding is more amazing because he takes care of me while I'm crazy. He always asks me if there's anything he can do to help me feel better, holds me when I cry (part of being crazy and a girl), and is willing to put up with me. I'm pretty sure that that is the key to knowing if you're loved. (They're willing to put up with your crazy when you can't imagine anyone else willing to do it and vice versa.)

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
How can you not smile when seeing this cute fluffy puppy? The only thing that makes me frown is the price tag.

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

What doesn't make me different? -Okay, so that was kind of snotty. Anyhow, I'm just not 'normal' and I'm okay with that. I love school, work, reading, being lazy, food, and shoes. (Okay, so the shoes is like a lot of people.) I can be really blunt, don't like being touchy feely, and despise the color pink. And yes, every tells me just how very strange I am. I guess that makes me different enough. -That and most people should know just from knowing me. I'm a strange duck, but friendly too. =)

day 23- something you crave for a lot

huh? Does this one really make any sense to anyone? Currently, the closest thing I come to craving is steak. It's just SO much better than other protein. Outside of that...I like food. Depending on the day depends on what I'm feeling like.

day 24- your last five facebook status'

1. I ♥ bacon. Who doesn't love bacon? Crispy, delicious bacon.


2. Mandi, I miss the days when I went to class and you bribed to take notes for you in exchange for waffles with boyesenberry syrup. *sigh*


3. I think I've reached the point again where I need someone else to select my clothes each morning.


4. It amazes me how one moment, one word, one person can completely change how you see the world. Sadly, not everyone understands the kind of power they have.


5. ‎1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.Honestly, the best advice Raymond Fielding has ever given me. Once you understand it, it can apply it to pretty much anyone that honestly cares about you.

See-I can be deep. Ha!

day 25- what I would find in your bag

What bag? Literally: I carry around my monies, phone, keys, papers, and books occassionally. Figuratively: A mess. I typically have a whole lot of stuff going on in my mind. Things other people would think I'm crazy for thinking about or things that would drive them mad. -Add pregoness and it can really throw logical thinking into spasms.

day 26- what do you think about your friends
I've found that real friends can talk to each other: Good, bad, ugly, crazy. They also know HOW to talk to each other without destroying their friendship. They're also not willing to let you go without a fight. I've got some of these friends and they're some of the greatest assests I have in my life. -And yes, I think my friends are awesome.

day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge

hmmm...because I wanted something to write about that didn't seem to revolve around my pregnancy though that was occupying a very large part of my mind. I think I might be ready though to talk about it. Thus part of the reason I'm ready for this challenge to be done.

Day 11

day 11- another picture of you and your friends
Shaun (I stole it from him. =) )










Mandi, Amber, and me. Don't we look amazing?
Old school pumpkin patch. Me, Megan, Amber, and Mandi.









day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
Cyber stalking. I saw my coworker's blog. After that, I found that a lot of previous people I knew from school that had started writing their own blogs. It was great fun to see how everyone was doing and all of the adventures they were having in their lives.

It also was a good place for me to be at that point in time. My blog allowed me a place to 'talk'. I think THAT is the greatest part about my blog. I get to say what I want to say. Learn to temper things a little bit. (Let's face it, tact is a skill that allows you to say what you want without hurting others carelessly.) And put it out there because I want to. Not because I have to.

day 13- a letter to someone
hmmm....I might have to come back to this one. I actually love writing letters and the last one I wrote was to my grandma letting her know what an amazing grandma she's been to me. I think every one should write more REAL letters to people they care about. Getting a heartfelt letter in the mail or a surprise letter always makes you feel important, special, and makes any day amazingly better. -If I say to whom it may concern and close it with sincerely, does that make it a letter to the masses?

day 14- a picture of you and your family

Or

day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
Yeah...about that. I only actually own 1 cd that Fielding bought me. No Ipod either. Does that make me a reject? I love music. I just happen to listen to it on the radio or Fielding will let me listen to Disney music on his Ipod that he downloaded for me. =) Anyhow, I can't really answer this question.

day 16- another picture of yourself
This was taken by Jeniece and edited by me. =) (Oh, and I'm starting to think this challenge is trying to prove how conceited I am. I honestly don't have that many pictures of Fielding and I. I might need to work on that.)

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
At the risk of sounding cliche, I wouldn't want to trade my life with anyone. My life is actually in a place where things are going well. (Yeah, how many of us can honestly say that?) I think any of us would love to have a couple of millions of dollars though. Getting rid of the stress of 'have to' is something I think any of us would love.

So I guess overall, I'd be willing to trade lives with someone and then gift myself two millions dollars. No more money stress in my life (maybe), a nice vacation on a warm beach, and shoes!

And there you have it, I'm caught up on the challenge. Now if only I can keep it up as the month goes on. =) Happy October!

Day 2

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
Well, some of Fielding's coworkers called him Porcelain Pratt. I figured it would work just as well as anything else so...yeah, that's it.
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
-All together? You're lucky I have any at all. I'm not really a be in pictures kind of person. You'd have to ask Mandi, Megan, or the inlaws for most pictures. Guess you'll just have to be happy with what I've got.













Fielding and Lily







Mandi and Megan











Maryland Mike and Me












day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
I say 'like' a LOT and 'I'm not gonna lie'. Both of them drive me crazy since it was pointed out to me that I say them obsessively.
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been

Ft. Eustis, Virginia

day 6- 5 favorite TV shows
A lot. Honestly. I'm a TV junkie. Oh, wait I should add this to day 4's list of habits.

1. Phineas and Ferb
2. Big Bang Theory
3. Criminal Minds
4. NCIS
5. Harry's Law
   
6. ANTM (America's Next Top Model)
7. Vampire Diaries
8. Secret Circle
9. Grey's Anatomy
10. Private Practice
11. Project Runway
12. Secret Life of the American Teenager
13. Stick It
14. The Nine Lives of Chloe King -Maybe soon I can remove this one. I got the book.
15. Dirty Little Liars
16. Switched at Birth

Really? Do I need to keep going or can we just admit that I'll sign up for a support group? I'm sure there are more and some that I'll add to to list as time goes on.

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Definitely has to be Fielding, my grandpas or Elvis. We'll go with Fielding this time.

He loves me.
Buys me flowers.
Appreciates that I LOVE shoes, even if he doesn't understand it.
And is practically perfect. THAT is much better than perfect.
And I love him. Does a person get better than that?

day 8- short term goals for this month and why
um...I'm terrible at goals. Setting them, following through on them, and completing them. Currently, I'd love to get caught up or even work on my History of Africa coursework. I would also love to figure out what I'm going to be for Halloween before Sunday night (the night before Halloween).

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
I'm proud of who I've become. I wasn't always this refined, sassy, and positive. I'm glad for the experiences I've had, the wisdom I've gained, and the humility to recognize that I've still got more to learn (even if it hurts). (Yes, this is my insightful comment.)

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, anxious or mad
Normally, I don't listen to music except when I'm in the car and most of it is just radio. I officially own ONE cd that Fielding bought me. X96 since forever and typically in the morning. Country on the way home so I don't become angry. Disney music is honestly a favorite and makes me happy. Christina Perry, Avril Lavigne, Taylor Swift, and Queen for fun. Come Thou Fount or Josh Grobin's Mountain song when I want to feel small or get a spiritual boost. (Yes, I wanted to call it a Jesus boost, but wasn't sure how that would come across.)

That's all for now, but I'm catching up. Mwhahaha!

Day 1

Day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Well, technically this is the most recent one of me, though it's not me.

1. I'm pregnant. 20+ weeks and still deciding what I think about it all.
2. That I'm aware of, I'm the only one of my mom's kids to be born breech. She likes to tell people I came into the world telling people what I thought.
3. I've still never been in a hospital since I was born except to visit others.
4. I'm a blue sash in Wing Chun, Kung Fu.
5. I LOVE Naruto (anime cartoon) from Japan.
6. One day I want to color my hair a vibrant hue of the rainbow that doesn't occur in nature.
7. I would love to have an extensive video/dvd/blueray collection of movies. Seriously, bookshelves.
8. I HATE both needles and brussel sprouts.
9. Fielding and I almost got divorced once. (Thank goodness we figured things out. Things are MUCH better than they have ever been.)
10. I'm convinced that somewhere in my mind I secretly like crying because my eyes turn fiercely green. (Yes, fiercely green is a color. Just the shade my eyes turn when I cry.)
11. When I was a kid I wanted to become a veterinarian. That changed when I found out I don't like animals hurting, dying, or blood and guts.
12. I love opals. They are the only birthstone I claim. Screw pink tourmaline as a birthstone for October.
13. I hope you picked up from the previous post that I HATE pink, though I LOVE orange.
14. I'm a button mashing Champion. Fighting games, not a problem with my skills. Fielding won't play with me anymore 'cause I kill him.
15. I love shoes! I would LOVE to own these.

I'm going to do it.

I found this on someone else's blog, but I'm going to steal it, do it, and complete it for October. Here we go. =)

October Blogging Challenge
day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- 5 favorite TV shows
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, anxious or mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song
day 31- the best thing about being you

Dirty Thirty

So many things running through my head since the last time I blogged. I guess it's best to start from a moment I thought was important.

The first year Fielding and I were dating I wanted to make a good impression and plan an amazing party for him. Unfortunately, that isn't how it turned out. People canceled at the last minute and others pulled pranks they thought (and still think were funny). It wasn't funny to me, but I can understand how it's funnier to someone on the outside. (Yes, a case of it's funny or hysterical when it happens to someone else, but not so much when it's you, or me in this case.)

Anyhow, moving on from the past. This year Fielding was turning thirty. THIRTY. There's no way you can let such a milestone pass with just a word and a thought. Instead I wanted to throw him a party he'd remember well into his old age. (Okay, so mostly this just sounds funny to me.) I did want to throw him a good party though, so I hit the internet.

hmmm...what can make a party. Good people, fun party, and good food. But what can push it over the top...moustache! Yes, how can that fail.

So I sent out invites, threw out the challenge, and asked the best (my sister, Kaylene) to make a coconut cake. BAM! A pretty freaking amazing party if I do say so myself, and if not I've got pictures to prove it.

Fielding and Myron. I imagine it on a wanted poster.

My nephew getting into the spirit of the party.

L to R: Kami, Jason, and Myron. How could Jason not win the contest?

My sister and her husband. Yes, his chops were really THAT amazing.
And she was THAT hot. =)

Fielding's family. Yes, I know they make the rest of us look bad, even in moustache.

Fielding and me. My sister made me one and Fielding's was home grown.

This was the cake. SO DELICIOUS!!! Seriously. We cleared 1.5 cakes and I STILL wish I had another one. I'm hoping Kaylene will be willing to make me one for MY birthday.

Happy Birthday Fielding. I LOVE YOU!

Thanks to everyone for helping out, showing up, and having a fun time.

(Oh, please ignore the strawberry blonde. White Trash came with the moustache theme.)

Maybe NOW, I can move on in my blogging. =)

Crazy job, crazy cat, crazy marriage

Hah! Most of you are probably thinking this will be a post about all of the crazy mad things going on in my life, but mostly it's joy I've found out of the norm.

First, I got a new job and I can't tell you how nice it has been. My previous job had definitely run its course and it was time for me to move on. I interviewed a couple of times with the company for a couple positions and was offered the second position I interviewed for. Originally, I was underwhelmed. (Sorry, you can't be just whelmed.) There didn't seem to be enough for me to do. That isn't the case now. Now, I've got projects to work on, help to give, and experiences to have. It's great.

Oh, and there are some simple joys too. The elevator are like a miniature adventure on their own. You enter the floor you want on the key pad then get in the letter elevator it shows. (So there are no floor buttons in the elevator.) It also moves REALLY fast (45 mph). It moves fast enough that my stomach jumps every time I ride it. And the view from the building is awesome! You can see all of downtown, the Capitol, some hawks/falcons, and rainstorm IN the clouds. Seriously, so cool!

As for my crazy cat and crazy marriage, my husband loves me. (I know mushy, and you're all ahhing.) Anyhow, back to the story. Ballou (See adorable picture. He was a stray I Dr. Dolittled and brought home.)

is normally a VERY active cat. (He plays fetch like a puppy.) I started to notice he wasn't playing like he normally did. Instead he was more lethargic and 'talked' more too. I started to get worried and took him in to an emergency vet. (I could bore you with the details, but I don't know that you really care that much.) Needless to say, he was sick, but could be fixed. Downside, the price it would cost.

I love all of my cats and couldn't put him down because of the cost. Fielding, on the other hand, isn't a fan of spending a lot of money on an animal. But like I said, he loves me. He was willing to invest the money in my cat because he knew it would make me happy, and I love him more for it. Ballou came home three days later and is back to his old self.

Lastly, I'm going to rant (or put my opinion out there because I have a lot of them). Who really believes that all marriages are utter perfection and just magically float along on wishes and dandelion fluff? I'm proud to admit that marriage and relationship doesn't. Fielding and I work on our relationship all the time. We remember the other person isn't trying to be mean by what they say and don't demean each other. And the benefit, Fielding and I love spending time together. We can talk about anything, can work through anything. And so long as we are willing to do those things, we'll always a future and forever.

Entertainment Rental

Have you ever noticed that life in the blogging world seems to take a hiatus as soon as Summer starts? Part of me wants to complain because I love reading the stories people have to post. They seem to make my day go by so much better. (And no, that isn't because I think my life is better. The stories just make me smile.)

The other part of me understands that as soon as summer rolls around there are a million and one better things to do than sit around staring at the computer. (That doesn't actually mean I get the ambition to do any of those million and one things though. One can dream.)

Unfortunately, I don't think there are really any amazing stories to update you on. Fielding and I were supposed to go on a great trip to Capital Reef. One Fielding planned almost exclusively on his own. And had we gone, I'm pretty sure I'd have some great pictures to share. I got sick though with a sinus infection/cold and Fielding ended up taking care of over the 'vacation' time we'd planned. He was so nice to take care of my whiny self. (I'm a terrible sick person. Definitely one that should be left behind to die so I don't draw attention from zombies or bad guys.)

Beyond that, Fielding and I's life has been blase. He shifted his work schedule and I accepted a new one. I know I should be more excited for it, but it just hasn't fully sunk in yet. My last day was today and my new job starts Monday. Maybe by then it will start to feel a bit less surreal.

Oh, sorry. I guess overall this whole post is about how...blah, regular, vanilla, etc. our life is. Luckily, I can live vicariously through rental children (i.e. nieces/nephews) that are returned to their parents after I'm done laughing and teaching them terrible things. Colin learned to throw snails over the fence while we were all weeding at my parents' and kept coming over to see if I'd found another one. Lily has reminded me that 'ugly' is a bad word and we don't say it. (Unfortunately, I just replaced it with the word unattractive. One day I'll learn.) And tonight is supposed to be a slumber party with Gage. (Hopefully, I'll get some stories out of it to tell.) He crazy, sporadic, and loud. Just the kind of kid I need to create some madness. Bring it on.

Otherwise I'll have to find something else and then what will I do?

Beep, beep, vroom!

Every person who's ever been in driver's education (which is pretty much everyone over the age of 16) has been taught that when you're involved in an accident you should move your vehicle to the right-hand most space on the road (if your vehicle is drivable).

So it shocked me to no end when I got hit on the freeway about a week and a half ago and the driver of the other vehicle decided to continue driving (and in fact seemed to use evasive moves to try to get away). I'd been traveling Northbound on I-15 when a red eclipse changed lanes from the rightmost lane and cut me off after the 53rd South on ramp. (Seriously, the space was barely enough for a parallel park.)

So when that vehicle cut me off, I slowed down a bit to avoid any issues. It was at that moment (and the decision of the vehicle behind me) that they decided to change lanes from behind me to the lane directly left of it. Unfortunately, they chose to speed up and cut the silver car in that lane off at the same moment I slowed down just a bit to avoid the red eclipse.

Bump! Yeah, the first thought that hit me 'holy crap, I just got hit' by that car that just changed lanes. (I also wondered if they'd hit the other car too, but wasn't sure.) The second thought that hit me was that they'd start making their way over the right hand side of the road so we could go through all of the formalities. (This thought was also aided by the fact that they had turned on their right hand blinker after they hit me.) But no, that was not to be the case. Instead they sped up to get away from me, didn't change lanes, then changed lanes, then sped up again. I was so shocked.

I finally grabbed my cell phone and called 911 so I could give them the information of a vehicle. I got put on hold (So yes, don't call 911 unless it's to save a life, prevent a crime, or report a fire.) By the time to operator answered, which wasn't as long as it felt, I had a lot of adrenaline running through my system. I think the first thing I spit out at the operator is that I'd gotten hit going northbound on I-15 and that the other vehicle had driven off and that I probably needed highway patrol, and I just passed one. I then gave them my contact information, but got them the wrong phone number (they got my husband's) because I just spit out the information. The next thing that I was spitting out was all of the information about the vehicle, make, model, color, window details, then driver detail. (mazda, 626, maroon with a butterfly decal in the rear back window, and a license plate border with butterflies)

I think the driver had decided she'd either lost me or she'd pretend she hadn't done anything. (And yes, it bothered me that she was busy smoking a cigarette instead of doing what she should have done.) She took the 33rd exit and the 911 operator told me to pull over at a gas station and wait for an officer to show up to take my statement.

So the officer showed up a while later, took my statement, pictures of the damage, and headed off to locate the other car and driver.

So yeah, though part of this is to provide me with a detailed reminder in case I need it in two years. The other part of it is to remind people of two important facts. 1- If you hit someone they WILL feel it (even if you think it's nothing). 2-A hit and run is FAR worse on your record than a simple car accident so don't just leave the scene.

Oh, and I guess one more tip would be that if you witness an accident pull over and provide a statement or at least contact information.

Color Me Easter

Easter is one of those holidays that I absolutely LOVED as a kid. We got to color Easter eggs, go to the family Easter egg hunt, and get some fabulous new outfit.

So this year I decided it was high time that I got around to coloring Easter eggs again. Luckily, Fielding's sister let me borrow her daughter and we colored some eggs a couple of weeks before Easter. She was SO EXCITED! (Trust me that's what she said in the first picture.)


From there it just kept getting better. She was obsessed with the purple (because it's her favorite). She just wanted to keep dropping the eggs into the different colors to see what they would look like. As soon as one egg was out of the color she would want another one put into the color.


I totally forget all of my skills that I had mastered as a child though. It took me a while to remember that you can actually color the egg different colors and use the wax crayon to draw additional details on the eggs. Luckily, Fielding's dad remembered and started us creating some fabulous eggs. (Neon blue egg with hot pink polka dots, Yellow and Green, purple and pink, etc.)


It was great fun to color Easter eggs again. Some of the best parts were after we finished coloring the Easter eggs though. Lily kept saying thank you and then she wanted to eat some of the eggs.

No big deal right? Well...I guess there aren't too many people who still get around to coloring Easter eggs. She cracked one open and threw it in the garbage can because she thought there was candy inside. Lol. It was SO funny to see her face and hear her tell us that there wasn't any candy inside.

It reminded me of so many memories from when I was a kid. Memories of my grandpa and the Easter party tradition he put in place for my family. I'm pretty sure that I can speak for all of us grandkids and say that it is a favorite of ours even as adults.

It's all a big deal. We break up the group into kids and adults with separate hunting grounds for each.

We have to pass out bags for all the loot we're hoping to get and then the anticipation begins to build.




I still don't think any of you understand just HOW much we LOVE our Easter egg hunt. Seriously, this picture is just the adults. It doesn't include the ten or twenty kids that already ran through the lawn collecting loot.

Obviously, there weren't a large number of pictures taken after this point because we were all set on hunting loot and Easter eggs. I got several random food items and four eggs. Before you criticize the fact that I only found four eggs, I'll have you know that there were fifty of them hidden and most people found three or less eggs. But because my grandpa wanted this to be fun for everyone, we have to make sure that everyone has at least one egg.

*Sigh* there went two of my eggs, even before I knew what prize was attached to them. Number 6 went to Celeste and number 48 went to James. And with each parting, I courteously told them that they'd better not win something fabulous. I guess karma wasn't with me (or maybe it was my courteous wish or Celeste's karma). Celeste got the "winning egg"! What!?! Oy! Why, oh why didn't I give up a different number. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to do better next year.

But don't let that make you think that is ALL our Easter party is about. There's always fabulous food and the candy count. (I've only won once in all my years.) The best part is still getting the chance to catch up with family, creating new memories, and keeping our family traditions going. I love them and I can't wait until next year when we get to do it once again.

Screaming inside my head

I'd love to take a moment to basque in some story full of pithy quips, but it's the end of the semester and my work is prepping for an external audit so it will have to wait.

I'm sorry, but please note that there are little people running around in my head screaming at the top of their lungs. I'm sure you understand.

I will take a moment to say that coloring Easter eggs with Fielding's niece was a lot of fun. I'll have to see what pictures Fielding has of the event and post them after the madness has passed.

*sigh* back to work, school work that is.

Too close

Oy! I don't know what to say about society any longer. There are a million and one ways for people to find out what is happening in your life. There are a million and one people who want to be able to see what you have to say, but very few of them care what you have to say. (Or at least that would be my assumption from the few comments.)

Do people really care THIS much? I don't know that they really do care that much. Instead, I think there are too many people who get caught up trying to figure out what everyone else is doing so they can decide what they should be doing.

Instead why don't we all try to be genuinely interested or genuinely happy without worrying if we have what they have or if we've accomplished what they've accomplished.

Caveat: I totally understand that this blog is public and I'm okay with that. That is the point to my blog. It means that I get to throw my opinions out there and anyone who chooses to read it does so of their own decision. (And yes, any comments I get I do appreciate.) This also would apply to anyone's cyber stalking of public sites. It's public. If you don't want it out there don't put it out there.

Also, recognize that sometimes people aren't willing to accept you because they don't want you to see what they write, aren't interested in telling you what is going on in their lives, or maybe they would prefer to practice an time old tradition of catching up occasionally at social events or maybe over lunch.

Okay, so basically this ended up being a rant, but I refuse to be bullied into letting people closer to me than I'm willing. So...get over it. (or watch the South Park episode about fb.)

Also, a word of caution. Don't let the advances in technology pull you away from who you are. There are SO many people now a days that are caught up in it all and end up walking away or destroying some of the most important relationships you can have in your life. Words become cheap, trust becomes fodder, and love a sacrifice.

Curses

For the past couple of weeks any time someone asked how things were going, I'd shrug and tell them it's normal. Nothing exciting one way or the other. And now that I've thrown statements like that out into the universe it's come back to get me.

So just an FYI, if you ever think that your life is too boring just find the happiness in it. There's so much more for us to love about a boring life. A boring life means you don't have anything in your life causing you stress. No stress about money and how you're going to pay your bills. No stress about doing things just right. No misunderstandings, arguments, or frustrations with your spouse.

Overall, I guess I'm saying that we should be happy with the simple every day joys in our lives. If we don't remember to notice those things we're likely to find ourselves being reminded.

Did you buy a turkey

I got woken up yesterday (Friday) morning shortly after 2 A.M. by Fielding coming in to bed. (He's been sick and not able to sleep.) I had fallen asleep several hours before and had shifted to the middle of the bed while I slept. (You have to take advantage when you can.) I shifted over ready to fall back asleep only to hear Fielding ask, 'Did you buy a turkey?' What!?!? (Anyone who knows me knows I don't really cook, especially dead things. Secondly, I thought only the sleeping person said weird stuff. Thirdly, I start wondering if I was supposed to have bought a turkey.) What I ask him, thinking he'd lost his mind. 'Did you buy a turkey?' Still confused and wanting to go back to sleep, 'What are you talking about'. The bed feels like it's preheated to cook a turkey. Oy! Okay, so I sleep hot, so what. I swear to you there is always one person of a couple that sleeps hot and the other one sleeps cold.

Six Years plus

Okay...I'm going to be lame and just say it.

Fielding and I have been married for over six years now. It hasn't been perfect, but he's been perfect for me. He always tries to make sure that I'm happy or if there's anything he can do to make my day better. He's not a traditional romantic, but I think I'm getting to the point that I appreciate his own romantic notions better. What can I say? He may not be the type of person I thought I would end up with, but he's exactly who I love being with.

Lub you babe!

Outside of that life is normal. Still going to school, still working, still dealing with life. =) I guess I could say I started working out, but mostly I've just got the cloths. Now I want shoes. I <3 shoes.

Oh, and we added another kid to the family. That would be Kristy's family. She's the proud mom of Paisley Lyn and so far Gage thinks she's fantastic. Waiting on another one in May from my sister, Kaylene. (Man, do my siblings work it!)

Introducing my bag

So I decided to use my blog to help me do my homework. See productive.

My first speech in my COMM1020 class is called "That's My Bag". It's basically an introductory speech about yourself using three items that represent you. I had originally discarded the past, present, and future option from the style of speech, but I think that's the one I'm going to go with.

My objects are...Okay, so this is part of where I get stuck. I'm pretty sure I know where I want to go with the speech, but I'm not really certain what objects to pair with the sections.

I know I want to play off of my obsession with the Asian culture. When I was a kid my favorite food was Ramen and my greatest goal was to become more Asian (difficult for a white girl who's biological parents are white.) I would actually spend time in the bathroom pulling the edges of my eyes back, letting go, and thinking they looked a bit more almond shaped than they had before. I thought almond shaped eyes and Asians looked quite lovely and I was going to be one.

College helped allow me to follow this obsession through both TaeKwon Do and Kung Fu classes. I remember Fielding walking in to the class the first day and wanting to get to know him. The instructor knew him from before and said he'd just gotten off his mission. (Yeah, like a year before.) Outside of the obvious fact that he was cute. He was also really happy and I was certain he had some interesting stories to tell. Unfortunately, Fielding wasn't really into being social and I practically had to stalk him (I know I'm creepy). But luckily, Fielding finally got around to talking with me and decided even though I was crazy (WAY too much energy for him) I was pretty cool. Then he decided I was cool enough to marry even if I wasn't the kind of girl he originally thought he'd marry.

But though marriage is amazing, it also can impact our life plans. Fielding and I both stopped going to school for a while and I finally got back in school two years ago to finish my Bachelors I'd started almost 8 years ago. (Wow, that's a really freaking long time ago.) I'm pursuing my Bachelors in History with a minor in Political Science and am hoping to finish by the end of this year or early next year. From there we'll just see what the future has in store.

hmm...I don't know why, but I feel like I'm still missing the paragraph about my future because my graduation (or expected, anticipated, insert other appropriate word) seems much more immediate than the 'future'. HA! Eureka!!! Brilliance. I totally just came up with the third object I need. An giant empty jar my aunt gave us for Christmas. (I know it might sound like a weird and random gift, but it really did and does still make sense. Find the book Penny's Christmas Jar Miracle then it will make sense.)

Empty jar representing all the hopes and dreams I want from life. I may not have any specific goals, but I do know that I want to be happy with Fielding doing whatever God has in the works for us. (See I told you, brilliant.) =) Also, did I mention my two weeks? Yup. Doing good.

Okay, I think I've got it so I'll leave you all alone now with my ramblings. =)

Long days are here to stay

Okay, so mostly I'm trying to avoid prepping a speech for my COMM1020 class (Or maybe in the more delusional part of my mind I'm hoping this will help strike my genius). Can I tell you how tired I am of school? I really am. I'm tired of every three months having to figure out what classes I can take that won't be too crazy or hectic when combined with everything else in my life (not that there really is a lot). It's just really exhausting to go to work full time and add an additional 15 credit hours on top of it. (I know I'm retarded, but only slightly.)

The funny thing is that I honestly think I would love to go to school all day every day if I didn't have to work. I LOVE school (excluding long papers). Not to mention there are a number of history classes I would love to attend simply to enjoy the pleasure of listening to a few professors lecture. Some people can't stand lectures, but I'm telling you you just haven't had a really good one in a subject you like. If you can find one though, you're bound to search through the offered courses for the next semester for that same professor.

*sigh* Part of me really would just love to be finished with my degree, but the other part of me is just sad that I'm missing out on so many great classes because being an adult means I have to have a job that pays my bills. Some days I wish it were easier for me to walk away from my job and responsibilities to my job, but I'm too devoted to just up and drop it. I want to type that maybe one day..., but I refuse. Instead I'll hope to have the opportunity to indulge in more school at a later date.

Oh, I guess the title mostly just references how full my life is at the moment. School, work, and spending time with Fielding. Not much I can cut out there, but maybe there's some prioritizing I can do. (Okay, I'm not including all the time I spend watching tv. It's such a good distraction from my homework.)

It's true

Okay, so I know I recently posted about the Big Bang Theory, but it just didn't feel appropriate to write an update via the comment section.

A) Still hysterical to see Fielding laughing at the jokes the 'geeks' say, i.e. collecting eggs from chickens in a vacuum. (I get it, but I don't know that I'd describe it as funny.) Either way it's fun (and funny) to see Fielding laugh. I don't mean just a burst of chuckles. When he thinks something is brilliantly funny he laughs out loud and stomps his feet (even if he's laying down). It just makes it SO much funnier to me and is adorable to boot.

B) Fielding finally caught on to me trying to figure out if he's Sheldon or Leonard (even though I told him). He started looking more closely at the characters too. On one of the episodes last night, Sheldon was rationing food. (Fielding is notorious for this. Thus part of the reason he doesn't share food with others well.) He also doesn't always get sarcasm (like Sheldon) and I'm pretty sure if he could blow people up with his mind he would.

Oh, and just as an end note, Each (or at least most) of the episodes ends with a blah, blah, production note. They can be kind of funny to read. Imagine the chalkboard on the Simpson's. Kind of like that.

Tender moments

I feel like it's been forever since I posted last.We had Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, and a few birthdays to celebrate over the last couple of weeks. I don't think Fielding and I have gotten a moment to sit down and relax. (Did I mention school started again?)

Anyhow, Fielding and I started watching 'The Big Bang Theory' last night. (Taylor and Jeniece were nice enough to let us borrow the first series.) It's a series I've wanted to watch with him for a while now. I figured it's funny and dorky for me and has a million geeky jokes in it for Fielding. See!?! It would be a win, win situation. I could laugh like a loon at the jokes I actually understand and Fielding can laugh at all of the jokes I don't even realize are real jokes. =)

We made it through three episodes before I had to go to bed and it was a lot of fun. I think it was funnier to me though because aside from Fielding getting all of the 'smart' (geek) jokes, he was also trying to read AND understand the equations and/or theories written on Sheldon and Leonard's boards. I'd look over to see if he was enjoying the show only to find him staring at the board BEHIND the characters and mouthing (mumbling) words to himself. I guess on the plus side he sat next to me and cuddled with me when he wasn't busting out laughing at one of the many jokes I didn't get. (It would have taken too long for me to understand it.)

In the future, I hope to figure out if he's Sheldon or Leonard. =)