Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Awareness

It's always interesting when trying to start any kind of conversation for me about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I know that the vast majority of people have heard the term though rarely do they actually understand the impact it has on those who suffer from it and those who care about someone with it. I know that I try to be very open about the topic because hiding from it isn't beneficial for me. I also know that thinking too seriously about it makes me want to cry. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I also know part of me is bothered by how 'tredy' it has become. -Yes, this is the ranting part.- It seems to be the new ADHD. Everyone seems to have it. Yet no one seems to need any help for it.

I recognize that some of my issues may, and probably are due to the fact that my husband was diagnosed with a severe case of late onset PTSD in 2008 though he'd had it before that. It was so severe that he was only getting a few hours of sleep each night, was unable to go anywhere for longer than a few hours, and was unable to complete some of the most menial household tasks. We were constantly blowing up at each other. (I wouldn't call it arguing because most of the time it was simply due to frustration on both our parts.) And yes, it was severe enough that we almost got divorced over it. -He moved out. I changed the locks. It was definitely serious.

Fielding was lucky enough to have some people who noticed the changes and recommended he talk to someone. He was diagnosed and referred to a therapist who specialized in PTSD. He then spent the better part of eighteen months attending sessions one to two times a month.

I would love to say that progressively over time he got better, but that would be a lie. In truth, therapy was difficult and trying. Each session he was expected to dig into his soul and face things (memories, feelings, and thoughts) that were much easier to try to avoid. It was also difficult because I was trying to receive assurance from Fielding that things were okay, but he was still trying to cope with the emotions from each session. Luckily, Fielding was willing to allow me to attend some sessions and his therapist helped us compromise on what would allow us both to feel 'okay'. And yes, after a LONG while things did start getting better. We talked more about what was going on, what each of us needed, and made plans to accomplish anything we faced.

That's not the end of the story though. His PTSD is not gone. I honestly don't think it will ever go away. And yes, there are days when it seems hopeless. Not the PTSD, but the stress and anxiety associated with it for both me and him. I feel like I have searched the Internet (literally several times though not the entirety of it) looking for some assistance. It doesn't seem to be available for a non-combat veteran though. Most of the literature or information is directed towards military families. I do not begrudge them those resources. It does make me want to cry out "what about the rest of us". There are SO many resources dedicated to recovery, long term assistance, and family support that it makes me feel hopeless for those who are not military. The average person who is simply trying to find some answers.

I think part of me hopes there are others out there with the same issues and possibly some answers.

The other part of me wants to throw my two cents out there for those who are wondering or would like more information. So here is what I know:

-Get help.
  This isn't something you OR they should face on their own. Therapy helps reduce the overall length of time someone suffers. Find a specialist. Someone who can provide the most effective and efficient help.
-Learn about PTSD, then learn about their PTSD.
  It's the simplest way to understand the 'why' behind the actions and possible options to help.
-Trust them.
  This is the hardest simple thing to do. Trust their feelings. You know who they were, but you need to learn who they are. Some people can make it through a trauma, but NO ONE is unchanged.
-Keep it simple.
  Sometimes it's enough to acknowledge that they need time, don't want to talk, or have taken out the garbage. If you pummel them with feelings, ideas, options, or demands, they're bound to be overwhelmed.
-Take a break and be there (actively).
  Sometimes they need time alone and sometimes you need time without them. Just don't STAY gone physically and/or emotionally. Having a strong support system will only help them. Remember reach out to them. Simply waiting for them may not work.

None of it is simple or easy, but its worth any price to understand and be able to LIVE again.