I'm pregnant?

So immediately after the pregnancy test was positive (and I'd taken a second one just to be sure three days later), I called the doctor's office to set up an appointment.

Originally I had to argue with the receptionist and nurse manager to switch my doctor from one to another. Apparently they had a policy against switching patient's doctors within the same practice. This made me cranky because if I had known that I would have figured out a way to see the doctor I wanted in the first place. Oy! I do have to say that my original doctor was great, but didn't seem to have the approach I needed to my fear of needles. (Yes, it seriously does give me anxiety. I start to feel a tightness in my chest and cry at the mention of having to get a shot, blood draw, or anything else that might include needles.) My doctors were nice enough to sign off on the switch. (Thank goodness.) So I set my appointment for the earliest date...over a month out.

Yeah, it took over a month to get in to see the doctor and you pretty much countdown every second, every day, every week. And please don't take this wrong, but it seemed...worse for me. I know statistically speaking there are very few women who don't have symptoms of pregnancy. I am one of those people (at least for this pregnancy). No nausea, no feeling light headed, no cravings, no running to the restroom more frequently than normal. (See, I told you I'm not normal.) Most people would envy this, but when you're sitting around counting down waiting for an educated confirmation it can be maddening. (Yes, I questioned the authority of the stupid digital readout and the two lines. I mean honestly, how smart can they be right?)

About So about a month and a half later I went in to see the doctor for the first time. You fill out all the new patient paperwork, the insurance information , and finally get checked in by the nurse. You go into a room with a ultra sound machine and wait. You wonder what is taking the doctor so long. You wonder how everything is going to go. If the baby is real, healthy, or how you're going to react. You wonder how your spouse is going to react. (And yes, you're hoping and praying that things work out in a way that will work for you whether it's one or more.)

Finally, the doctor shows up and asks you how things are going. And since it's me, I answer all the questions, don't really know what to expect, and don't really have any other questions. I figured the doctor would do all the talking and explaining if it was necessary. (And yes, you're still freaking out the whole time wondering how it's all going to go.) Finally, he asks you if you're ready to see your baby and part of you is like 'yes, I've been waiting over a month to know for sure'. The other part of you is like 'no, I'm liking staying in the dark because I don't have to freak out quite yet'. The next thing you know there's a blob on the screen and all you can think (or say out loud to the doctor who just met you for the first time is) 'Holy shit!' Yeah, that is pretty much what blurted out of my mouth. That's not including the tears that start streaming from your eyes because it's real. In that moment you start to realize you really are pregnant. You're pregnant with a tiny human that looks an awful lot like all of the pictures you see of babies. (And yes, at the same time they still look like inkblot pictures too.)

After that, it's pretty anticlimactic. All of my sisters had limited pregnancy issues and I'm not one to stress about it. I figure that regardless of what I do or how I feel things are going to be however they're going to be. So I didn't have any questions for the doctor.

Oh wait. I'd accidentally told Fielding about how pregnant women should avoid lunch meat. He hadn't let me eat a real sandwich in over a month. I WANTED A FREAKING SANDWICH. Not due to any kind of pregnancy craving, but because I LOVE sandwiches. (Honestly, I think I'd eat a sandwich daily.) THAT was the only immediate concern I had. My doctor said it was okay and that was pretty much my next stop.

So I guess at the end of the day I didn't feel pregnant, but I was. Doctor confirmed and everything. Now all I had to do was hold out until at least the end of the first trimester. That was one thing I was paranoid about. I didn't want to put it out there only to have something...happen. All I had to do now was make it another month or two.